Coming out "Straight"
By Justin Jordan of Awesome Purpose
God has put it on my heart to share the testimony of my deliverance from homosexuality. It has been approximately six months (from the date of this entry) since I was freed, and I’m doing this now as an act of obedience to my Heavenly Father. I pray that whoever reads this testimony will gain wisdom and knowledge about the issue of homosexuality. To those who are still believing Satan’s greatest lie, I pray that you will receive freedom, not condemnation, from this story.
It is important to first know and understand that I never wanted to change my sexual orientation. I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior in 2005, and never believed that living the homosexual lifestyle was going to send me to hell. I knew what the bible said, but I had decided to only accept the parts of the bible that fit with the way I wanted to live my life. This is a common occurrence in “broken” Christianity. We do what makes us feel good. This is NOT the way it should be.
In the beginning of 2007, I began surrendering to the Holy Spirit, and I started to step outside of the comfortable “Christian box” that many are familiar with. This is when things started to change within me. I can’t exactly explain it, but I was no longer gaining fulfillment from the homosexual relationship that I was in. During that time, I was led to a particular church (Living Waters) with a friend that God had placed in my path. The first time was great, but it was the second time that I went to the Living Waters church that my life was forever changed. I was standing up at the front with everyone receiving prayer, and Pastor Michelle came over to me. The battle for my soul began! I don’t remember much of what was happening, but everyone in the church had stopped what they were doing and surrounded me. Everyone started interceding (praying on my behalf), and I could feel a weight being lifted off of me. I can’t even tell you what they were saying, but I remember how happy I felt afterwards. When I sat down, it felt like every cell in my body was flipping, and dancing around. I didn’t quite know what happened yet, but I knew that I felt completely different.
What came next was subtle changes in my behavior and even my thoughts. I was thinking about girls in a new way! Here I was, just living my life, perfectly content with who I was and what I was doing, and WHAM! I was transformed into a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17). I had no control over this, and never felt like it was something I had to do. It happened so naturally, that I was never scared. I just went with it.
The relationship I was in obviously came to an end, and I had the chance to share all the new things that God was doing in my life with him. I pray that someday the scales will fall from his eyes as well.
It was in that time frame of breaking free that I had the vision of homosexuality being an umbrella. The umbrella was just the covering for the real problems underneath. The lies became exposed…
My whole life had been a lie. I wasn’t born gay. God created me the way He wanted me. Do I have a creative side? Yes. Do I have a sensitive side? Yes. Am I a jock? No. God created me for His purpose, and the devil tried to pervert it. Inside I was broken. I had no male role model, and a deep need for a father. That need was perverted. These aren’t things that I learned from a magazine, or some random self-help book. This wasn’t the result of years in an ex-gay ministry. This was between me and God. These are things that God put in me! He brought all these realizations to me, so that I knew what was going on. Thank you Jesus! Can you imagine the mental problems I would have if God hadn’t stepped in as my Father, leading and guiding?
Since this time, God has continued to restore me in many ways. I have re-claimed my right to be a man by the grace of God. The love that I have felt from God is still something that I’m learning to receive. It’s awesome, it’s everlasting, and it’s completely unconditional. God has told me that He will give me the desire of my heart, which has always been (even when I was believing Satan’s lies) to have a wife and a family. She’s out there somewhere. A girl that is made just for me. I am going to be the best husband in the world (hopefully in her eyes anyway) and our relationship will be one that is centered around Christ. Without Him, it would never have existed. I’m speaking as if I have already met her because I know God is already arranging for it to happen.
It’s not easy to share a testimony like this. The human side of me wants to forget my past life and say, “Thanks God for the healing, I’m moving on!” However, I’m not here to please anyone in the world. I’m not here to live up to anyone else’s expectations except my Heavenly Father’s. At the end of the day, I know why God allowed for me to go through this. This is a testimony that people need to hear. There are many that are confused with this issue. Many of the confused are in the church, and have the Word of God right in front of them. I call this the devil’s greatest lie, because it’s the one that everyone is believing! I know homosexuality isn’t from God. I know how God feels about it, and I know that He can free anyone from it! The devil would love nothing more than for me to be filled with pride, and to keep this testimony “in the closet” (I’m funny, right?). However, I’m standing on the Truth, and I will tell everyone I have to! To God be the glory!
This concludes my testimony, but I feel that there are probably some people out there that need to know more. I’ll leave this post up for comments (and questions), and if anyone reading this needs further help, please contact me. I can’t deliver you from homosexuality, only God can do that. However, I can share how I have walked this thing through, and how I have been victorious through the strength of the Lord!
Dear Justin,
I want to thank you for courage in sharing your testimony, and to let you know that I rejoice with you that by the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ you have overcome!
The LORD bless you, brother.
Shalom Aleichem.
It’s wonderful that you are happy now and understandable that you want to help others find happiness.
However, posts like yours can be extremely dangerous and, as a fellow Christian, I am, frankly, concerned when people say things like I “never believed that living the homosexual lifestyle was going to send me to hell.” What sends people to hell is a failure to believe the Truth. NOT their sexual orientation.
Perhaps you weren’t born gay, but what do you say to someone who truly believes that they were? “Sorry, you’re off to hell for eternity?” There are many, many people who have prayed for years to be “delivered” in the way you describe but it simply never happens. Are you prepared to tell them that they are just out of luck? Damned for all eternity?
Or are you ready to accept that perhaps your experience is not a universal one? That the Divine Creator creates all DIFFERENT kinds of people and some happen to be gay, some straight, some bisexual, some transgendered?
I came here to leave a comment promoting my blog carnival. This is the text I had planned to enter on this form:
“Have you heard about The Seventh Day weekly blog carnival at On the Horizon?
You can submit a post on ANY topic! (Keep it clean, ok?) It’s a great way to reach a new audience for your site! The Carnival is also an excellent resource for discovering new sites and making new blogging friends.
The Carnival takes place every Seventh Day (Sunday) and posts may be submitted through Saturday at noon for the next day’s edition.
I invite you to submit your best work (1 post per blog per week) from the prior week on ANY topic using the submission form!
Want to help spread the word? You can put the Blog Carnival widget or The Seventh Day button on your site! (Email me for the graphic file.)
Questions? Drop me an e-mail: admin@hopefulspirit.com. Or use the Contact Form at On the Horizon!
Thanks and hope to see your post included on The Seventh Day!”
However, you have inspired me to write about your post. The work of the Holy Spirit, no doubt!!
Blessings to you!
Let the Word speak for itself:
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. [1 Corinthians 6:9-11]
I am acquainted with some who are saved but still struggle with homosexual desires. I don’t believe these will go to hell. If a person continues to live in sexual immorality, he will not enter Gods kingdom. The same goes for one who “practices” homosexuality or leads such a life style.
God does not create anyone GAYs or BISEXUALs. This is deformed sexuality that happens is as a result of the original sin, though not necessarily the sin of the person.
Sidharth
Hopeful Spirit,
Why would you be concerned with the phrase, “I never believed that living the homosexual lifestyle was going to send me to hell”? Do you realize this is what the majority of homosexuals say who are also claiming to be Christians?
The whole point of me saying that is to show that I believed the same things that all the other homosexuals believed. I DID believe I was born that way, and I argued that with everyone.
The TRUTH is that no one is born that way, and there is NO scientific evidence that can argue the Truth, and there never will be.
The spiritual problem that homosexuals face, and the one that will send them to hell, is that they don’t believe they are doing anything wrong. They justify what the bible clearly states as a sin, so they can continue living on the way they always have.
You said, “what sends people to hell is a failure to believe the Truth. Not their sexual orientation.” I believe that this is a contradiction because if someone is believing that God created them to be gay, they are not believing the Truth.
To the people that are praying for deliverance, keep praying! God knows your heart, and knows you want to be set free. If you stumble, don’t kick yourself, just ask for forgiveness and get back on the right track.
Also remember that even if you aren’t delivered, you can still choose to act in obedience to the Word of God.
I do NOT believe that everyone will share the same experience that I have had, but that does not justify homosexuality as being “okay”. I have heard of others that have been delivered like I have, and I have heard of others that struggled for years before they were finally successful. It’s really whatever is in God’s will. Some people get healed, some people get miracles, but we ALL must walk in faith and OBEY the Lord. I’ve been blessed with this deliverance and the Lord has shown me favor, and it is absolutely necessary to share what God has done, or else the whole experience was in vain.
Is it a dangerous post? Only to those who don’t want to accept the Word of God as Truth!
Thank you to those who support this testimony, and remember that it is only by the power of God, nothing that I could have done, that has created this story for people to see! Praise the Lord!
Love,
Justin
Glory to God for deliverance! Whom the Lord sets free is free indeed! Praying that you will continue to walk in His freedom and liberty.
Dennis Jernigan is one of my favorite worship leaders who was also delivered from homosexuality. You should look into his website. I bet you could get a lot of encouragement from him. God bless you and may His perfect will be done in your life, Justin.
\o/\O/\o/ 2 God be the glory great things HE has done \o/
Dear Justin,
I am encouraged by your courage to stand out and say you have sinned and you need Jesus to help you overcome your sins.
Praise the Lord.
David
Hi Justin, this is really a bold step you have taken to share this testimony with the world.
I Pray that you keep on holding unto that decision you have made and also maintain your deliverance in Jesus Mighty Name Amen
Godbless
Dear hopeful spirit,
What sends people to hell is not necessarily the failure to believe the truth, but rather the failure to have a relationship with Christ. You say that God created people to be gay, but offer no spripture to back it up. If there was a shred of evidnece that God was a supporter of homosexual lifestyles, I would believe you. Unfortunatly there is not. The only scriptures that mention is are opposed to it.
Finally,
you absolutley ruined your own comments with you selfish promotion of your own site. I came here to read and post about the topic of homosexuality, not your little carnival!
Hi I am a 23 year old that have been delivered from homosexuality by Jesus Christ as well, I came to a point in my life where I saw my self(life style) as God saw it,and I repented
from it,the change really happened suddenly but I still had to renew my mind as Romans 12 say:
Ro 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable, and perfect will of God. and 2co 5:17 Therefore, if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature: old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
I really can identify with the umbrella example of Sidharth Mohandas,that it is all a lie (the whole homosexual life style) you live what you believe ,it has been one year and five months living my life in truth .Joh 8:32 and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
Since being set free by Jesus Christ,I am peace-fully and full of Joy,and try to live every day for what God created mankind to do Glorify His name.
One of my favorite scriptures is:
Ro 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service .
I pray this for everyone