By Sidharth Mohandas

For the past many months I have been going through a tough phase where God had exposed a lot of raw wounds in my heart that I had buried without receiving healing for it.

As I was reading a book by Derek Prince called God’s Remedy For Rejection, I realized that what I was facing was a feeling of rejection. Derek describes rejection like this in his book:

“Rejection can be defined as the sense of being unwanted. You desire people to love you, and yet you believe they do not. You want to be part of a group, but you feel excluded. Somehow you are always on the outside looking in” ¹

I was reminded of a time during my early school when I desired to be part of a gang but no matter how hard I tried, I could never get along with them. They seemed “cooler” than I was and I felt insecure being with them. Later in high school the Lord reminded me of a very close friend I had. He had just come from the US and he had no other friend but me. However, when he found other friends he started ignoring me and was even mean to me. I carried this insecurity with me into college and as I look back I can see how relationships broke as a result of my insecurity. I found it really hard to trust a close friend as I was constantly tormented with fear of loosing them. I wondered why I developed such insecurity and such fear and the Lord took me to a time in my childhood [4 years] when I was molested by two of my maids. Later when I came to know what had been done to me, I was filled with hatred and shame and didn’t even tell anyone until some years back. I believe I started fearing relationships ever since that incident. Now, I do not claim to be fully healed of all the feelings of rejection, but I thank God that He has started this healing process in my life and will perfect it. However, for those who can’t get this book, I will share with you the steps Derek lists out in his book that may help you receive healing for all the wounds caused in your life by rejection:

Step 1: Recognize the nature of your problem and call it by its right name- rejection. God always has to bring us to the moment of truth, even though it may seem devastating and extremely painful, before we receive His help

Step 2 : Take Jesus as your example. By one of the most amazing and tragic decisions in all of human history, the people rejected Jesus and chose Barnabas. So, the mob cried out, “Away with Jesus! Crucify Him! We don’t want Him! We’ll have Barnabas, the rebel and the murderer”

In response, Jesus prayed for those who had crucified Him:

Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing [Luke 23:34]

The second step, therefore, is to forgive.

This had been a hard thing for me. When I was reminded of all the pain some of my friends had inflicted on me, I wanted to hurt them back and make them feel sorry for what they had done to me. However, as I pondered on it I realized that I could probably hurt them and feel good about it, but then I would still walk my life crippled without receiving healing for my wounds if I were not ready to forgive them as God would forgive me and forget the harm they had done to me.

Step 3: Make a conscious effort to get rid of the bad fruit rejection has produced in your life, such as bitterness, resentment, hatred and rebellion. If you nourish these in your heart, they will poison your whole life, and the end result would be you ruining the rest of your life. Say with a decision of your will, “I lay down bitterness, resentment, hatred and rebellion”

Step 4: In this step you need to believe and receive what God has done for you.

[God] has made us [you] acceptable in the Beloved [Ephesians 1:6]

When you come to God through Jesus, you are already accepted and you are highly favored by God. He does not tolerate you. He loves you. He is interested in you. He chose you and will never turn you down no matter what. Ask the Holy Spirit to make these truths a reality to you, so that these become heart-realities than just mental realities.

Step 5: Accept yourself. Sometimes this is the hardest step of all. Never belittle yourself or criticize yourself, for you do not belong to yourself but Him. You are His work . Ephesians 2:10 tells us, We are God’s workmanship. The Greek word translated here as “workmanship” is “poiema”, from which we derive the English word poem. It suggests an artistic achievement. We are God’s masterpieces. Of all God created, He has devoted the most time and care to us. You may label yourself a failure, but God calls you, “My son, My daughter”.

I also highly recommend Derek Princes book God’s Remedy For Rejection. This book has helped me a great deal.

¹ Page 5 of the book God’s Remedy For Rejection