Coming out "Straight"


By Justin Jordan of Awesome Purpose

God has put it on my heart to share the testimony of my deliverance from homosexuality. It has been approximately six months (from the date of this entry) since I was freed, and I’m doing this now as an act of obedience to my Heavenly Father. I pray that whoever reads this testimony will gain wisdom and knowledge about the issue of homosexuality. To those who are still believing Satan’s greatest lie, I pray that you will receive freedom, not condemnation, from this story.

It is important to first know and understand that I never wanted to change my sexual orientation. I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior in 2005, and never believed that living the homosexual lifestyle was going to send me to hell. I knew what the bible said, but I had decided to only accept the parts of the bible that fit with the way I wanted to live my life. This is a common occurrence in “broken” Christianity. We do what makes us feel good. This is NOT the way it should be.

In the beginning of 2007, I began surrendering to the Holy Spirit, and I started to step outside of the comfortable “Christian box” that many are familiar with. This is when things started to change within me. I can’t exactly explain it, but I was no longer gaining fulfillment from the homosexual relationship that I was in. During that time, I was led to a particular church (Living Waters) with a friend that God had placed in my path. The first time was great, but it was the second time that I went to the Living Waters church that my life was forever changed. I was standing up at the front with everyone receiving prayer, and Pastor Michelle came over to me. The battle for my soul began! I don’t remember much of what was happening, but everyone in the church had stopped what they were doing and surrounded me. Everyone started interceding (praying on my behalf), and I could feel a weight being lifted off of me. I can’t even tell you what they were saying, but I remember how happy I felt afterwards. When I sat down, it felt like every cell in my body was flipping, and dancing around. I didn’t quite know what happened yet, but I knew that I felt completely different.

What came next was subtle changes in my behavior and even my thoughts. I was thinking about girls in a new way! Here I was, just living my life, perfectly content with who I was and what I was doing, and WHAM! I was transformed into a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17). I had no control over this, and never felt like it was something I had to do. It happened so naturally, that I was never scared. I just went with it.

The relationship I was in obviously came to an end, and I had the chance to share all the new things that God was doing in my life with him. I pray that someday the scales will fall from his eyes as well.

It was in that time frame of breaking free that I had the vision of homosexuality being an umbrella. The umbrella was just the covering for the real problems underneath. The lies became exposed…

My whole life had been a lie. I wasn’t born gay. God created me the way He wanted me. Do I have a creative side? Yes. Do I have a sensitive side? Yes. Am I a jock? No. God created me for His purpose, and the devil tried to pervert it. Inside I was broken. I had no male role model, and a deep need for a father. That need was perverted. These aren’t things that I learned from a magazine, or some random self-help book. This wasn’t the result of years in an ex-gay ministry. This was between me and God. These are things that God put in me! He brought all these realizations to me, so that I knew what was going on. Thank you Jesus! Can you imagine the mental problems I would have if God hadn’t stepped in as my Father, leading and guiding?

Since this time, God has continued to restore me in many ways. I have re-claimed my right to be a man by the grace of God. The love that I have felt from God is still something that I’m learning to receive. It’s awesome, it’s everlasting, and it’s completely unconditional. God has told me that He will give me the desire of my heart, which has always been (even when I was believing Satan’s lies) to have a wife and a family. She’s out there somewhere. A girl that is made just for me. I am going to be the best husband in the world (hopefully in her eyes anyway) and our relationship will be one that is centered around Christ. Without Him, it would never have existed. I’m speaking as if I have already met her because I know God is already arranging for it to happen.

It’s not easy to share a testimony like this. The human side of me wants to forget my past life and say, “Thanks God for the healing, I’m moving on!” However, I’m not here to please anyone in the world. I’m not here to live up to anyone else’s expectations except my Heavenly Father’s. At the end of the day, I know why God allowed for me to go through this. This is a testimony that people need to hear. There are many that are confused with this issue. Many of the confused are in the church, and have the Word of God right in front of them. I call this the devil’s greatest lie, because it’s the one that everyone is believing! I know homosexuality isn’t from God. I know how God feels about it, and I know that He can free anyone from it! The devil would love nothing more than for me to be filled with pride, and to keep this testimony “in the closet” (I’m funny, right?). However, I’m standing on the Truth, and I will tell everyone I have to! To God be the glory!

This concludes my testimony, but I feel that there are probably some people out there that need to know more. I’ll leave this post up for comments (and questions), and if anyone reading this needs further help, please contact me. I can’t deliver you from homosexuality, only God can do that. However, I can share how I have walked this thing through, and how I have been victorious through the strength of the Lord!

Panacea!

Courtesy to www.telfordpct.nhs.uk

By Sidharth Mohandas

“Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved” [Romans 10: 13]

This is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Two things I like about it: one, it’s absolutely universal, and two, it’s a cure-all. Let me explain what I mean by “cure-all”… The Greek word used for “saved” here is “sozo”, which means “complete salvation”. It is a salvation that covers every area you could ever imagine!

This same word, sozo, was used when Jesus delivered the demonic at Garderene [Luke 8:35], when He healed the woman with chronic bleeding [Luke 8:48], when He raised Jarius’ daughter from the dead [Luke 8:50], when the cripple at the Beautiful Gate got healed [Acts 4:9] etc.

God’s plan of salvation is complete. He not only saved you and me from sin, but His salvation meets all of our needs and is a solution for all our problems. Your debts? Yes, absolutely! Deliverance from your sexual sins? Indeed yes! Laziness? Over-eating? Anger? You name it! As God’s Word says, Wherefore also He [Jesus] is able to save [Gk: sozo] to the UTTERMOST them that draw near unto God through Him [Jesus] [Hebrews 7:25] To the uttermost! Do you know what that means? It means “to the last bit”.

But then why are we struggling even after we have cried out to Him? If deliverance from sexual sin was so easy, why are you struggling with it so much? Why is it that you’re not getting out of your debts? Why is it that you’re still fighting with anger and gluttony? Why?

The answer lies in that small word: call. But this word is not just an ordinary call. It’s a call based on what you have heard. Some verses down, Paul says, Faith comes by hearing and hearing the Word of God. [Romans 10:17]. God prescribes His medicine, the Word. It’s an all-cure! Panacea! But just like you’d be regular with those pills your doctor prescribed, you have to be regular with God’s Word. This is the key to Sozo.

Lies that bind…

By Sidharth Mohandas

I heard a friend relate about his struggle with smoking, and his testimony brought to light something that is a common hurdle to deliverance.

My friend was sitting in his room playing his piano… he had accepted the Lord just some months back… but he was still struggling with the smoking habit. He tried quitting a number of times but he was failing miserably. He had no idea what kept him from being delivered. As he was playing his piano… his brother came into his room and said… “Hey bozo, I heard you’re now one of those Jesus freaks!”. Putting on a religious air, he just ignored his “sinner” brother and continued playing the piano. His brother looked around and asked him, “So , you have a cigarette?”. My friend looked straight into his eyes and said, “No, I’m a Christian, I don’t smoke!”. But as soon as his brother left, my friend took out a cigarette and started smoking. The Lord started dealing with him. He said, “What you need deliverance from is not smoking, but lying.”

There are principles for deliverance, you reap what you sow. You can’t expect deliverance if you sow the seed of bondage. Scripture tells us “You shall know the truth and the truth shall deliver you” [John 8:32]. If truth sets you free, lies will bind you. Many people don’t even realize that they lie. In fact majority of Christians lie to themselves! They think, “I’ve failed so many times, I’m not going to do any good”, “Probably I’m an outcast and God doesn’t want me”, “I can’t give up drugs, I’ll die if I do”, “I’m going to fail again…”, “Probably all of this is hum bug. All of this written in here is just make-believe”, “God wants to punish me with sickness”, “God hates me enjoying life”, “God wants me to be stiff and religious for me to be accepted by Him”… and the list goes on.

Analyze what you speak to yourself, what you think… Are you speaking lies to yourself? Or you maybe like my friend, a compulsive liar, you lie about everything and anything… you’re scared if you tell others the truth, they’re going to look down upon you and you lie, lie, and lie! If this is you, let me tell you, you’re not on the ground of deliverance. The ground of deliverance is TRUTH.

Remember, “as a man thinks in his heart so is he”… It’s time to do some cleaning up and fill in with truth. Again, truth delivers, lies bind.