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By Sidharth Mohandas

The past few days and weeks I had been going through some serious refining. The Lord was dealing with me in the area of relationships- an area I have never succeeded before. In college I lost seven of my close friends in a stretch. Instead of dealing these in a godly manner, I retracted and isolated myself from letting anyone get close enough to hurt me. This went in cycles… each time a friend hurt me I’d keep away from him or her after making a mess out of the relationship.

I received specific instructions from the Lord a while back on the key to relationships. This is helping me to stabilize in this area and I want to share it with you who are facing the same.

When someone hurts me, I can testify that the first thing that happens is my mind receives it and analyzes it… scrutinizing every word spoken by the other person. You in fact end up believing things that the other person never even imagined. The thoughts then trigger the emotions and then you’re on a roller-coaster ride. You become totally unstable… and you react in your emotions… detrimental.

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ [Ephesians 5: 17-20]

I liken such a person as one drunk in wine; he has no idea what he’s doing or what he’s saying…his steps are totally unstable and unpredictable. To such people Scripture’s instruction is to be filled with the Spirit. Let me bring to your attention that the actual Greek word “pleroo?” used here refers to a continuous infilling, not just a one-time infilling. But how can we be filled with the Spirit? Romans 8: 5 tells us “those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.” To live in accordance with the Spirit requires the taming of our minds to think like Him. How do we tame our minds? Obviously by filling ourselves with God’s Word.

While I approached the Lord with this, He instructed me to speak to myself in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, to sing and to make melody in my heart to Him. I started singing to the Lord and in no time I was up and full. If you noticed, the verses immediately after this speak of relationships.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. [Ephesians 5:21-22]

But what is the principle behind this? I was led to another Scripture with the same instructions in Colossians 3: 16:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

Paul instructs us here to fill ourselves with the word of God not only via teaching and admonishing, but even as we sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. And guess what Paul goes onto speak after this? Relationships…

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. [Colossians 3: 18-21]

Let me summarize it for you, singing spiritual songs and psalms to yourself is an effective way to feed yourself with the Word of God, and by doing this you are causing your mind to focus on things that the Spirit desires. This is how you be filled with His Spirit. And when this is done, relationships fall in place.

Be filled in His Spirit and you will treat others like how He would treat them.

By Sidharth Mohandas

Though I came to know the Lord Jesus at the age of 9, my 16th year was marked by rebelliousness and waywardness. I had strayed away from the faith into sin. Not that I didn’t believe in the Lord, I had gotten into bad company and all that mattered then was the pleasures of sin and the acceptance with my friends. My mother was very hard on me during those times. She tried her best to discipline me, but my rebelliousness just grew with her strictness. I particularly remember a day where I did something and she slapped me, and I slapped her back. She and I were both surprised at my response. When I got out of control, she usually got a belt or a wire to hit me. But none of those affected me. This went on for days and one day she just broke down and in her anguish she started offering sacrifices of praise to Him. She told me later that she had let gone at this point, and had let God take over. A week later I was deeply convicted and I just wanted to get back to where I was with the Lord. I called a friend I knew who was strong in the Lord and asked him to help me out. He ministered to me, and I made a fresh commitment to God and I haven’t gone down on that ever since that day. My point is, our striving to do things in the flesh are in vain. Months of my mom trying to discipline me didn’t bear much fruit. God could turn my life upside down in just a week’s time! [Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not talking against disciplining your children.]

Stop striving in your flesh, let go and let God. Remember, the builder man builds in vain if the Lord is not the builder. [Psalm 127: 1]

By Allison Pennington

Some years back, I had never been with children and actually did not like the little people. Even as a child I did not like most children. Change can come quickly though, and one day I found myself with children of my own. I started off knowing very little about raising children. After all, I had not spent much time with them. You might think that I was at a disadvantage, but quite the contrary. It was probably the best thing that could have happened to my children. Why? Because I sought God for answers and guidance. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;” He had told me. I began to search the scriptures. I got a general idea of my place in their lives, about love, discipline, and who they belonged to. This was very helpful and also took a load off of me. Again you might ask, “Why?” Well, the children weren’t mine, they were the Lord’s children. He dearly loved them even more than myself, and had plans for them, and guarded and provided for them. God was going to help me raise them!

This still was not enough. I was blessed to know that God would help, but being a new Christian, I did not totally understand it yet. I heard God’s message that He sometimes spoke through people. “But test everything that is said,” God instructed. So, I listened. God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of a sound mind, He reassured me. I heard Dr. Dobson one day on the radio. He answered one question that I was real confused about: “when were these little boys just being little boys, and when were they disobeying me?” Dr. Dobson said something like this: “Make a line in the sand and tell them not to cross it.” Referring to making it clear what was acceptable at home and in public and what was not acceptable. In other words establish the family rules. He went on to say that when, not if, but when, they put their big hairy toe across that line, it was my responsibility as a parent to love them enough to enforce with consequence as per the Bible. With that clear picture that Dr. Dobson portrayed, I knew my duties much better.

Of course, there were failures, mistakes, tears, and some inconsistencies on my part, BUT guess what? God fulfilled all of His promises! What is even better is that when I would try to follow the Lord and raise the kids according to His will, He multiplied my efforts ten-fold! My failures even became pluses because, "God uses everything to the good of those that love Him!" Trusting God and obeying Him is a win-win situation in all aspects of life. I know that some people will say they believe God and then say that the scripture about using the rod really doesn't mean the rod specifically, but I would disagree. God says what He means. I can't tell you how many times my boys have thanked me for spanking them after they got older. Not because they liked it, but because they saw the way that it shaped their characters!

My children are almost all grown now. They are terrific! They are the blessing that God promised to a Mom in His Word. We are all close and love each other. My kids & I do things together, and they are happy to minister to others with love, respect, gentleness, and strength of character founded on the Word of God. It is a miracle. Again you might ask, "Why?" Because, I do not believe that a single Mom can raise such godly people without supernatural help.

Of course, there were failures, mistakes, tears, and some inconsistencies on my part, BUT guess what? God fulfilled all of His promises! What is even better is that when I would try to follow the Lord and raise the kids according to His will, He multiplied my efforts ten-fold! My failures even became pluses because, “God uses everything to the good of those that love Him!” Trusting God and obeying Him is a win-win situation in all aspects of life. I know that some people will say they believe God and then say that the scripture about using the rod really doesn’t mean the rod specifically, but I would disagree. God says what He means. I can’t tell you how many times my boys have thanked me for spanking them after they got older. Not because they liked it, but because they saw the way that it shaped their characters!

My children are almost all grown now. They are terrific! They are the blessing that God promised to a Mom in His Word. We are all close and love each other. My kids & I do things together, and they are happy to minister to others with love, respect, gentleness, and strength of character founded on the Word of God. It is a miracle. Again you might ask, “Why?” Because, I do not believe that a single Mom can raise such godly people without supernatural help.